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积极的关系：导论

As humans, we need the affection, attention, and acceptance of other people. Relationships are such an important part of the human experience that it is difficult to think about what our lives would be like without them. Think about all of the relationships you are a part of. Some are professional and others are personal. Some are superficial, while others are rooted in a strong bond. Chances are, if you think about your favorite memories as a child, there was another person with you in most of them. We need people in our lives to bring us joy, to measure our potential, to learn from and to live with. Children’s ability to establish relationships is a crucial part of social-emotional development. This ability will help children be successful as they grow. As a school-age staff member, there are three main types of relationships you will see in your program:

1. Adult to child relationships. This type of relationship is between you and the children in your care.
2. Peer-to-peer relationships. This type of relationship is between two children. These relationships are often called friendships, however not all children are friends. It is important to promote positive relationships with all peers.
3. Adult-to-adult relationships. This type of relationship will be evident in your professional relationships with your colleagues, family members, and other professionals or community members.

成人与儿童的关系

The adult to child relationships created in your program are vital to creating an environment built on trust and community. The relationships you create with school-age children should be ones of mutual respect. Positive relationships with adults help children feel good about themselves and encourage them to be active and participatory in their learning. Research shows that children with positive adult role models and relationships have reduced stress levels, higher academic achievement and can form healthier peer relationships than children without these relationships.

According to the Council on Accreditation's After School and Youth Development Standards, methods to create positive relationships with children include:

• Helping children feel welcome, comfortable, and supported
• Recognizing positive accomplishments
• Treating children with respect
• Listening to what children say
• Responding to children with interest, acceptance and appreciation
• Being consistent and following through on what you say you will do

Peer-to-Peer Relationships

Friendships are a necessary part of a child's social-emotional development. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, friendships allow children to "broaden their horizons beyond the family unit, begin to experience the outside world, form a self-image and develop a social support system." Because the ability to establish and maintain friendships will be necessary throughout our lives, it is considered one of the most important goals of social-emotional development for school-age children.

Making and keeping friends is especially important for school-age children because their friends play many parts in their lives, such as:

• A companion：与之共度时光、分享共同利益、享受彼此陪伴的人
• A confidant: Someone to share secrets, to engage in pretend play and to share thoughts and feelings
• An ally: Someone to be a team with and to face difficult tasks with
• A support: Someone who provides stability and motivation during difficult times

随着儿童时代，他们形成的友谊的类型从植根于共同利益的人变化，往往是方便的那些更深层次的情感债券。最早的友谊形式，通常在较年轻的学龄儿童中看到的友谊形成是出于共同利益的。享受同一个游戏，书籍或运动的儿童可以在享受他们最喜欢的活动时债券。这些友谊也被创造出与同一课程或计划中的邻近和便利和儿童创造出来，或者居住在彼此附近的儿童，更有可能成为朋友而不是那些没有。友谊发展的下一阶段是共享价值和规则之一。这些类型的友谊植根于比共同兴趣更强大。它们通常出现在较旧的学龄儿童中。这些同行债券在生活，价值观和道德上的相似前景。此外，有类似的脾气和游戏模式的儿童将倾向于互相寻求朋友。在青春期和青春期多年来，孩子们倾向于形成更大的同行团体，有时被称为“群体”。 In many cases, children in a large circle of friends can be highly influenced by each other and often times take on similar ways of dressing, talking or specific behaviors.

Helping Children Make Friends

As a school-age staff member, you should encourage healthy friendships. A healthy friendship is a reciprocal one-where children take turns making decisions such as choosing activities. Friends should be able to work together to solve a problem or issue and genuinely enjoy each other's company. Children who have been exposed to positive relationships at home typically have an easier time making and keeping friends. They have an understanding of the normal give-and-take found in healthy relationships and know how to apply it to their peer relationships. Children who have not been surrounded by examples of positive relationships may have difficulty making and sustaining healthy friendships.

There are many reasons a child may struggle when trying to make a new friend. Children may not have mastered the social-emotional developmental milestones, or they could be shy or aggressive in nature. A child's personality and temperament plays a large role in their ability to make and keep friends. It is important for you to understand how to identify a child who might need help establishing friendships. Helping a child that is having a difficult time making friends can make a very big difference in a child's life, as this is a skill that will be used throughout life.

Helping a Shy Child

A child who is shy might need your help navigating social situations and making friends. However, before you intervene, observe the child and determine if he or she is actually in need of assistance or just slower to open up to others and make friends. If you determine a child is shy and does need help, consider the following:

• Connect：花时间了解孩子的性格和气质。观察孩子在学习环境中的游戏模式、喜欢的活动以及与同伴的互动。这将有助于你了解他们是谁，并可能有助于你把他们与另一个孩子匹配起来。你应该花时间和这些孩子交谈，yabo电子游艺建立自己的关系。他们需要信任你，这样你才能帮助他们拓展业务，结交新朋友。你还需要深入了解他们的性格和气质，只有通过与他们交谈和参与活动才能做到这一点。
• Express: Encourage children to express themselves. During conversations, it is important that you encourage them to express their feelings. You can do this by asking questions and providing motivation. It helps to be familiar with children’s interests so you can discuss topics that are important to them.
• Shine: Create opportunities for children who are shy to shine and be the expert. Once you have taken the time to get to know a child, give the child the chance to come out of his or her shell. Depending on the child’s interests, talents or skills, give the child an opportunity to demonstrate a skill or discuss something important. Children who are shy sometimes need help feeling good about themselves. Helping them feel important and special is a great way to boost shy children’s self-esteem.
• 搜索：帮助孩子们找到健康的友谊。利用你所知道的关于你项目中孩子的知识，为害羞的孩子找到合适的匹配。在安排孩子们分组工作或分享活动时，一定要留心。通过让一个害羞的孩子和另一个有相似兴趣的孩子结对，鼓励他们建立健康的友谊。你可能需要给孩子们一些开场白来帮助他们认识到他们的相似之处。

Helping an Aggressive Child

It is inevitable that you will also have children who have a difficult time controlling their behaviors or who are not able to clearly express what they are feeling. These children might have aggressive or domineering personalities and need help building relationships. These children may have trouble interacting with others, taking turns and cooperating. You might find that some children who have had difficulties in their lives, have low self-esteem, or feel lonely act out in aggressive ways. As a school-age staff member, you will help these children find healthy ways of expressing themselves so they can improve their social skills and establish healthy relationships. When helping a child who is aggressive make friends, consider the following:

• Observe: Take the time to observe the child in the learning environment. Watch for patterns or triggers that bring on the aggressive behavior. Try to understand why they act out or become angry. Whenever possible, help them avoid these behaviors by intervening before the situation escalates. Also, take time to understand their interests, skills and talents. Similar to working with children who are shy, you will need to establish trust to help and develop a healthy relationship so you can understand the reasons behind their aggression.
• Root: Try getting to the root of the problem. If you feel a child is acting out aggressively because there may be a bigger problem at home or in school, bring it to the attention of your supervisor. Meeting with the family to try to understand the cause of the problem could be beneficial.
• Consequences：帮助孩子了解如何以健康的方式表达自己，并在他或她没有时理解后果。给孩子们要应对他们的愤怒或沮丧，所以他们不会积极地行事。您可以建议在期刊中深呼吸，阅读或写作。在您的重定向和后果中保持一致。如果你告诉孩子们，如果他们继续抛出游戏碎片，他们将无法参加比赛，你必须跟进。
• 设定限制：界限和明确的期望，有助于孩子们理解对他们的期望，以及如果他们表现积极会发生什么。强化积极行为，引导消极行为。有关更多信息，请参阅指导课程。
• Control: Once you are able to gain an understanding of why the child behaves or reacts the way that he or she does, you can work on controlling those behaviors. You can help children establish friendships by creating opportunities for them to work with children that share interests, skills and talents. Just like when working with children who are shy, these children need the opportunity to be an expert and share their knowledge to boost their self-esteem.

帮助焦虑的孩子

随着我们对心理健康的理解开发，与童年精神病问题的参与已成为关心的正规部分。您最有可能在您的学龄工作人员中看到各种儿童心理健康问题，但研究表明，焦虑症是儿童中最常见的这些问题（Piacentini＆Roblek，2002）。患有焦虑症的儿童可能表现出与害羞或侵略性的儿童相同的行为问题，例如未能围绕他人说话或扔混凝器。虽然可以在节目时间进行某些住宿，但您可以采用的一些最有效的策略正在形成积极的关系，建立信任和建模应对技能。鼓励孩子与他人建立友谊，加强自己的应对机制是帮助这些儿童在您的计划内充分潜力的关键。考虑使用以下一些策略来实现这一目标：

• Validate and Brainstorm:During a busy day, it may be tempting to simply tell a child to relax. In children who have anxiety disorders, this may simply cause them to redirect their anxiety onto something else in their lives. Instead of asking them to suppress their anxiety, listen while they express their worries, and then calmly redirect them towards brainstorming solutions to these worries with you.
• 重新定义：有时就像我们的大脑如何进行away, children can become focused on hypothetical, “what if…” problems when experiencing anxiety. Encourage them to think about whether their worries are true or assumed. Asking a child to label their worries and practice reframing skills can help them stop their anxious thoughts from spiraling and causing larger program disruptions.
• Coping Skills:教孩子们在焦虑时选择放松策略可以帮助他们为将来建立平静的技能。深呼吸练习、肌肉放松技巧和正念练习都是很好的自我安慰策略。考虑将压力球作为一项手工活动，或邀请瑜伽教练作为嘉宾参加。
• Empathize:经历焦虑的孩子可能孤立或孤立。当您感到急于模拟他们可能会克服焦虑时，请联系。帮助他们建立一个积极成果的图书馆，并成为正确处理焦虑思想的例子。

成人与成人关系

As a school-age staff member, you will also need to establish positive relationships with other adults. These adults may be your colleagues, supervisors, community members, and families. For more information on establishing relationships, refer to the Communications and Families courses. When working to establish and maintain relationships with other adults, it is important to consider the following:

Engaging With Families

• Families can be your program's window into culturally responsive experiences. Invite families to share meaningful experiences.
• Provide opportunities for families of children in your program to meet and get to know each other.
• 邀请家庭观察和参加您的一些计划活动。
• Send home books about emotions and social-emotional skills with children.
• 鼓励家庭通过在家庭环境中扩展您的一些课堂和学校经验来培养家庭的社会情感技能。

Engaging With Colleagues

• Connect with your colleagues. Share your interests and experiences with colleagues during staff meetings, lunch breaks, or in-service days. Explain how these interests drive some of the experiences you create for children in your program. Get to know the people who you work with on a personal level.
• Exchange ideas with colleagues about experiences that foster social-emotional growth. Invite a colleague to come to your room, observe some of your activities and give you feedback. Offer to do the same for your colleagues.
• Ask a coach, supervisor or training and curriculum specialist to observe you so they can offer you feedback about your use of materials and experiences to promote children's social-emotional growth.
• 承认正在做出伟大事物的其他同事，他为您提供指导和建设性的反馈，并激励您争取卓越，并成为团队参与者。
• 保持专业性。避免在工作时谈论你的私生活。
• 建立沟通渠道。定期与其他同事联系，以便在问题出现之前讨论任何问题。讨论项目规划的想法也是很好的。通过提供定期的沟通形式和保持开放的政策，让家庭了解情况。

在这个项目中，你与其他成年人的关系也可以作为一种为学龄儿童建立健康关系的方式。与其他成年人交谈时，始终保持冷静、专业和尊重，并确保你的肢体语言是积极的。

See

Social-Emotional Development: Positive Relationships

做

What does it Mean to be a Socially-Emotionally Competent School-Age Staff Member?

当你已经阅读在本课程中,social-emotional growth and development is a crucial part of the human experience: It helps us learn things about ourselves, establish and maintain relationships with others and allows for meaningful learning experiences. In your daily interactions with children in school-age programs, it is your responsibility to build relationships with and foster relationships among children by designing supportive environments and by being responsive. Building relationships is an essential, primary component of good teaching.

在你的工作中，你有责任创造有意义的经历，包括在一天中练习社交情感技能的机会。作为一名具有社会情感能力的工作人员，可以用多种不同的方式来表达：

• 花时间努力建立和维持与儿童和同事的关系
• Trying to work things out and problem solve solutions to challenges
• 展示灵活性
• Allowing yourself to make mistakes
• Being nurturing and responsive
• 尝试新事物
• 面临困难时要求帮助或支持
• Helping others in need
• 愿意接受新的或不同的观点
• Embracing diversity
• Being open-minded
• Sharing your own emotions and thoughts