Know

It is likely that some children and families in your care will face challenging life events that can put their mental health and overall well-being at risk. Such events might include death, divorce, job loss, relocation, violence in the home, or separation. As a child development professional you will also likely work with children who experience deployment, or you may experience deployment in your own family. Deployment is a difficult time in the lives of children and families. Each family handles these challenges differently, and each child will have unique needs. Nevertheless, there are typical changes you can expect as children experience challenging and stressful transitions and life events.

This lesson describes the effects of stressful events on young children's lives while highlighting ways you can support children and their families during times of crisis. You will learn the typical emotional and behavioral experiences of preschool children before, during, and after deployment, and ways you can support children and their families at each stage of deployment.

Stress in Young Children's Lives

幼儿对压力的反应可能与年龄较大的儿童的反应不同。与年龄较大的孩子不同，年轻的孩子可能并不总是能够口头表达他们的感受;例如，他们是否害怕，焦虑，困惑，愤怒，悲伤，悲伤或感觉无助（零六个协作小组，全国儿童创伤压力网络，2010）。他们的感情往往表现在他们的行为中，这些行为可以是关于他们内心所感受的线索。在处理压力事件时，儿童可能会：变得紧贴或害怕新的情况;展示侵略;体验困难睡觉;甚至似乎失去了最近获得的技能。让我们考虑部署以及如何影响儿童和家庭。

Emotional Characteristics of Deployment

Deployment is a challenge for any family. For families faced with repeated or multiple deployments, the following seven-stage emotional cycle describes their typical emotional cycles.

When families learn about the deployment, they are faced with preparing themselves financially, emotionally, and physically. The deploying parent may need to spend extra time at work prior to the departure. Both parents may spend a great deal of time getting ready for the deployment, packing, filling out paperwork, performing routine home or auto maintenance, finding babysitters or making extra childcare arrangements.

在部署之前

For many families, especially those who have been deployed before, there may be a period of detachment or withdrawal prior to deployment. Family members might emotionally prepare themselves for the pain of separation by isolating themselves. During this period, there might be fights or anger.

Children experience a variety of emotions prior to a deployment. They may not understand why their mother, father, or other family member has to leave. It is common for young children to feel that it is their "fault" that their parent is leaving. This happens often when children have unanswered questions about the deployment. Because preschool children's sense of time is not fully developed, they may feel anxious or confused about when a family member is leaving. They may not understand how long the separation will last or even that the separation is temporary. They may be confused by the changes they see in their household. The deploying parent may need to spend extra hours at work in preparation for deployment, and the spouse may be making arrangements for life as a single parent by attending to necessary legal, medical, or financial matters.

All of these emotions can show themselves in different ways. During this stage, the child may act withdrawn, sad, or quiet. Changes in routines may make the child more likely to act out. You might see more aggressive behaviors, tantrums, crying, or regressing (e.g., problems with toilet training or thumb sucking).

During Deployment

当一个家庭成员开始部署时，家庭成员经历了一段时间的组织。他们可能会悲伤，担心家庭如何运作。家庭护理人员可能会因责任而感到不知所措。它需要时间才能结算进入新的惯例。最终，家庭恢复并开发为他们工作的惯例;他们有一个新的“正常”。

一旦父母部署，孩子们会经历一系列情绪。他们可能是悲伤，孤独，困惑，生气或害怕。害怕分离是学龄前儿童的主要问题之一。亚慱彩票他们可能会担心剩下的父母会离开或放弃它们。他们可能需要不断保证，因为他们的父母或监护人靠近或将从育儿中挑选它们。他们可能担心部署的父母处于危险之中。

In child development programs, you may see children behaving more aggressively. You may also see children become clingy, shy, quiet, or fearful. Fears are common for all preschool children, and deployment may increase their fears. They may be drawn to adults for comfort.

After Deployment

As the day for the return draws closer, the family prepares for more changes. They may be excited about the family member's return. They may feel a little nervous about whether their relationship with the deployed family member has changed. When the deployed family member returns, the family goes through another transition. The non-deployed caregiver might have mixed emotions about their changing role; this person has "done it alone" for quite some time and must renegotiate roles and expectations. Children may also have a hard time bringing the deployed family member back into their daily routines. The deployed person may have doubts about where they fit into the family. Again, over time, the family stabilizes.

Immediately before and after the parent returns, the child may be excited and energetic. The child may also feel a little nervous and shy about the parent returning. Children may be scared that they won't recognize their parent. They may also be afraid that the parent will leave again. They may be confused by the changes happening in their home as family members visit and their parents negotiate new roles.

See

How can programs support children facing challenging life situations? Listen as this manager discusses how she and her program support families who experience deployment. If no parents in your program experience deployment, consider similar circumstances where a family caregiver is absent for an extended period such as incarceration or a serious long-term illness.

Connecting During Deployment

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Protective Factors: Fostering Resilience in Young Children and Families

There are characteristics of children and families have attributes that can protect them as they go through stressful events. Research on resilience in children demonstrates that a significant protective factor for children is the consistent presence of a caring, positive, and protective caregiver (Zero to Six Collaborative Group, National Child Traumatic Stress Network, 2010). This person can be an ongoing resource for the particular child, and can encourage them to talk about their experiences, and provide reassurance that adults in the child's life are working to keep them safe.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, you can support children facing stressful challenges when you:

• Maintain consistent classroom routines as much as possible. This provides children with a much-needed sense of stability and safety.
• 为孩子们提供机会来谈论what is going on, but do not force them to talk if they don't want to. Encouraging children to talk about their feelings and validating them strengthens children's coping as they hear that all their feelings are OK.
• Be watchful of changes in children's behaviors over time. Changes in behaviors, for example acting out or withdrawing from friends, may indicate that a child needs extra support.
• Encourage families to connect with other families who may be dealing with similar stressors. Connecting with others allows families to share experiences and healthy coping strategies.

The remainder of this lesson focuses on how you can support children and families before, during, and after deployment.

Support Before Deployment

Most importantly, you can help families find the resources they need, such as Military One Source (http://www.militaryonesource.mil/）或特定服务中可用的其他资源。预部署前咨询可以帮助家庭学习如何为部署准备儿童。

鼓励家庭和孩子亲爱的estly about the deployment. It is important for families to help children understand:

• 为什么父母要离开：部署父母有一份重要的工作要做，他们知道如何做好工作;他们不会孤单。
• When the deploying parent is leaving
• What the family will do together before the parent leaves
• 在部署时，孩子将如何与父级通信
• What will stay the same when the parent leaves: for example, one parent will still be here for breakfast and dinner, the child will still go to the same child-care program, the family will still have fun together, etc.

Also encourage families to start thinking about ways to help the child feel close to the deployed parent. Are there personal items the parent and child can exchange before the deployment (e.g., a picture or favorite t-shirt)?

部署期间支持

During periods of deployment, it is especially important that you help the child and family maintain normal routines. Early in the deployment is not the time to transition a child to a new classroom or caregiver. Reassure the child that their parent will pick the child up as usual. Provide lots of hugs and comfort. Answer the child's questions as simply and matter-of-factly as possible.

Integrate emotional literacy and problem-solving into your curriculum. Help children learn to recognize and deal with emotions. Talk about emotions every day. Look at pictures of children with different emotions, read stories about feelings and deployment, do activities that let the child identify and talk about their feelings. Help the child develop strategies for calming down and dealing with anger or fear.

准备帮助父母出现问题。父母可能会被孩子行为的变化混淆。父母可能孤身一人，不确定如何提供纪律或指导。父母可能因厕所训练，发脾气或婴儿谈话而感到沮丧。父母可以经历自我怀疑，抑郁或无助的时期。请记住，父母很重要，以照顾自己的心理和身体健康。帮助他们与家庭准备组，行为健康咨询或神职人员联系。您可以提供积极的指导和纪律的资源，培训和支持。您还可以帮助家庭想到在部署期间使生活更轻松的方法。使用对话，新闻通讯和家庭夜晚帮助家庭分享想法：

• Keeping track of time by putting a coin in a jar each day of the deployment; the child can buy the parent a homecoming gift upon their return
• Going on family hikes
• Have a family movie night
• Draw pictures or write letters to the deployed family member
• Have a family camp-out in the yard
• Schedule "date nights" (or days) with each child individually
• Create a family calendar
• Figure out a special way to say goodnight to the deployed family member each night

Support After Deployment

Celebrate with the family and the child. Answer questions and let the child talk. Acknowledge the child's feelings, and help the child find words or pictures to describe those feelings. Make sure they know all feelings are OK. It is normal to feel shy or nervous when you haven't seen someone for a while. Recognize that this is a major transition for the family, and they will likely need to be connected with resources and supports. Work with your program to identify resources you can share.

Case Example

Read the following scenario and think about the suggestions provided to support children in your care during the different phases of deployment.

Wayne and Natalia, parents of a child in your class, both serve in the military. They met while on assignment in Asia and have been serving together around the world ever since. They love travel and living in new places. In their eight year marriage, they have had two international assignments. They had their first child, Ximena, four years ago, and she is now a child in your preschool program. Although they have moved frequently, they have never been deployed at the same time-- until now. Wayne and Natalia have both been assigned six month tours of duty. In some regards, Wayne and Natalia feel well prepared for the trip: they know Natalia's mother will care for Ximena, and they have completed all the pre-deployment paperwork for Ximena's insurance and care. They feel less prepared for the emotional toll of such a long separation. What can you and your program do to help this family, and particularly Ximena, before, during, and after the dual deployment?

You may consider the following:

• 鼓励家庭to begin talking with Ximena about the upcoming deployment.
• Talk about where the parents are going and why.
• Prepare Ximena for what will stay the same: she'll sleep at grandma's like she does sometimes now, she'll still go to your child development program, play her favorite games, eat her favorite foods, and have her special dolls and toys.
• 在她在学龄前，在她在幼儿园时，为她的父母创造一个关于她的父母的个性化故事以及正在进行的事情。亚慱彩票
• Create special items that could comfort Ximena during difficult times in the classroom (e.g., make a pillow out of one of mom or dad's shirts for Ximena to sleep with).
• Provide Ximena with a consistent routine and predictable rituals at child care.
• Include reminders at child care about routines that seem difficult for Ximena. You can do the same about routines that have been challenging at home as well.
• Talk with Ximena about emotions and encourage her to share her emotions by drawing pictures or writing notes to her parents. Remember, you can help young children write the words they share aloud. Comfort her when she needs extra support.
• Share messages or notes that the parents sent to the child development center to be shared with Ximena.
• Provide honest responses to Ximena's questions or comments about her parents. For example, if she shares that she is scared, you can say, "I am scared sometimes too," or you can address a question about her parents by saying, "Your mommy and daddy are doing everything they can to be safe." Avoid elaborate responses which can be overwhelming to her.
• When Ximena's parents return home, help Ximena talk about her emotions: anxiety, shyness, excitement. Make sure she knows all emotions are OK.
• Organize a special activity that involves Ximena and her parents once they are back from deployment. For example, a parent-child lunch or picnic.
• Encourage Ximena to express her feelings and share how she feels.

照顾好你自己

您为儿童和家庭提供了至关重要的支持。但是，如果你不照顾好自己，你就不能这样做。通过困难，有时悲惨时期帮助孩子们可以令人难以置信的挑战。你可能会发现你自己的心理健康反映了你周围的人。确保您花时间以您自己的需求。与周围的人交谈你的感受。与您的社区资源的主管讨论体验部署或损失的家庭的资源。照顾好自己会让你更能够照顾孩子。您还可以了解更多关于您自己的自我保健Social & Emotional Learning for Teachers (SELF-T)and theSelf & Cultural Understanding课程。