知道

想想这三个字:安全、稳定、and Nurture. What do they mean? Think about a relationship in your own life that was represented by these three words. What did others in the relationship do that made it feel safe, stable, and nurturing? What impact did that relationship have on your life? Whether you recognize it or not, relationships like these likely shaped your outlook on the world and your ability to succeed. Let’s take a look at a few relationships that could be considered safe, stable, and nurturing.

Like all families, Chandra’s, Charlotte’s, and Ravi’s families have experienced some stress. Whether faced with single parenting, relocation, separation, financial or job-related stress, strong families are resilient and bounce back. No matter what, they make sure their children have safe, stable, and nurturing relationships. Chandra’s mom has extended family support, close friends, and a strong bond with her infant. She is beginning to build a strong relationship with the caregiver at the child development center. Charlotte’s parents understand her emotional needs. They help her maintain connections with old friends and build new friendships. Ravi’s family communicates with one another, celebrates one another, and spends time connecting and reconnecting.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention consider safe, stable, and nurturing relationships like these one of the “essentials of childhood.” Let’s explore how the Centers for Disease Control define these three words.

• Safety: Safety is “the extent to which a child is free from fear and secure from physical or psychological harm.” This means that adults protect child from harm. Adults regulate their own emotions and monitor children’s development.
• Stability: Stability is “the degree of predictability and consistency in a child’s environment.” This means the child comes to learn that the world is a manageable place. Consistent family routines are one way stability is provided for children.
• Nurture: Nurture is “the extent to which a parent or caregiver is available and able to sensitively respond to and meet the needs of their child.”

不幸的是，创伤（如虐待或疏忽）可能会损害或摧毁孩子的安全感，稳定和培育。这种影响发展。现在考虑你的婴儿和幼儿。他们所有人都有安全，稳定和培育的关系吗？根据您已经学到的内容已经学到了本课程，很明显，对于一些孩子来说，答案是“不”。我们不必接受这一点作为答案。我们的工作是帮助加强家庭，帮助每个人回顾他们的童年并回答，“是的。”

您可以通过意识到影响您家庭的压力源来完成此操作。参与涉嫌儿童虐待或忽视的案例可能对家庭带来了极大的压力。本课程的其余部分将重点关注（a）您在一份报告中涉及的行为或问题以及（b）如何帮助经历这种创伤的家庭。记住：任何时候你都不舒服或不知道该怎么办，你可以去找你的MILT&Cs orsupervisor for help. You do not need to face anything alone.

To reflect a little on how your role has a crucial, positive impact on children's trajectory, take a moment to watch Dr. Nadine Burke Harris' 16-minute TED Talk video about how childhood trauma affects long-term health. Follow the link below to see the talk:
https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime

See

Many families who are involved in allegations of child abuse or neglect have experienced some kind of trauma. This might mean they experienced abuse or neglect themselves as children. There may also be domestic violence toward adults in the home. They may experience family or community violence.

Trauma can influence how a family interacts with you. Look for these characteristics (Preventing Child Maltreatment, 2013):

• Families that have experienced trauma may find it difficult to build trusting relationships with you. It might not be easy for them to trust anyone.
• Families might perceive aggression or danger where it does not exist. They may struggle with keeping themselves or their children safe. You might find yourself questioning their decision-making.
• They may abuse drugs or alcohol.
• They may have a hard time controlling their emotions.
• They may seem numb or “shut down.”

Watch this video to learn more about supporting families impacted by trauma.

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The following list of strategies is from the Preventing Child Maltreatment and Promoting Well-Being: A Network for Action 2013 Resource Guide. Consider ways you can use these strategies to support families who have experienced trauma:

• Talk to your T&Cs or supervisor for support any time you have a concern about a family.
• 了解父母的反应（包括愤怒，怨恨或避免）可能是对创伤的反应。不要个人接受他们。
• Remember that parents who have experienced trauma are not “bad.” Blaming or judging them is likely to make the situation worse.
• Recognize that all parents want the children to be safe and healthy. Compliment parents’ good decisions and healthy choices when you see them.
• Stay calm, and keep your voice as neutral and non-threatening as possible. Model direct and honest communication.
• Be consistent. When you make a commitment, follow through.
• 请注意，您可以体验次要创伤压力，当您看到或听到其他人的创伤时可能会发生。照顾好自己，花点时间来解决自己的反应，当你觉得你被压倒时。

You should become aware of the resources available to families in your communityMILor on your installation:

• The military Family Advocacy Program, victim advocacy, and transitional compensation exist to address family abuse through prevention, intervention, treatment and victim assistance. Visithttp://www.milelateonesource.mil/abuse.想要查询更多的信息。可以通过安装行为卫生服务或家庭倡导资源来提供家庭咨询。还联系您的家庭宣传计划，了解可以向家庭提供的教育服务。FAP可以通过安装行为健康资源，FAP咨询服务或民用资源来帮助家庭获得支持和帮助。
• The Family Readiness System (FRS) is the network of programs, services, people, and agencies, and the collaboration among them, that promotes the readiness and quality of life of service members and their families. The services available through the Family Readiness System can help families develop new skills and tackle life’s challenges in every stage of military life. Services vary by installation but may include: mobility and deployment assistance, relocation assistance, personal financial management, spouse education and career services, family life education, emergency family assistance, domestic abuse prevention and response services, child-abuse prevention and response services, new parent support, exceptional family member support, non-medical individual and family counseling, transition assistance, morale, welfare, and recreation, and Information and referral.
• 非医疗咨询服务是可用的members and their families at no cost. Non-medical counseling programs provide confidential, short term counseling to active duty members, National Guard and reserve service members and their families. Counselors possess a master’s or doctorate degree in a mental health field and are licensed or certified in a state, territory or the District of Columbia to practice independently. Non-medical counseling is designed to address issues such as improving relationships at home and work, stress management, adjustment issues (for example, returning from a deployment), marital problems, parenting, and grief and loss issues. These personal sessions are available face-to-face, by phone, and online. Non-medical counseling is not designed to address long-term issues such as child abuse or neglect, domestic violence, suicidal ideation and mental health issues, but it can be an option for families that are facing short-term stressors. For more information, visithttps://www.militaryonesource.mil/confidential-help/non-medical-counseling.

Just like this lesson opened with examples of children in safe, stable, and nurturing relationships, let’s end this lesson with an example of ways you can reduce stress in a family that has experienced trauma. Consider Kyle and his mother:

Kyle, age 2, had experienced neglect in his home, and his mother is currently receiving help in the community after the report and investigation. You have noticed Kyle is acting out much more than usual. At the end of the day when Kyle’s mom comes to pick him up, you see your coworker run up to her and say, “You need to sign this incident report. Kyle bit 4 other children today. If this keeps up, we may have to recommend another placement for him.”

Kyle’s mother breaks down in tears and says, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve taken off so much time from work trying to be a better mom. If I lose child care, I’m afraid I’ll be fired. What am I going to do?” She pulls a crying Kyle out the door.

第二天当凯尔的妈妈进来时，你匆匆忙忙地说，“好消息！我们有一些问题，但凯尔今天做得更好。我们正在取得进步！“凯尔和他母亲的脸上笑着笑。你觉得很好知道只是把东西放在角度上有助于减轻家庭的压力。