Read through this example of how an administrator helps a staff member expand their thinking about their role in supporting students' healthy sexual development. Then reflect on the conversation with a colleague.

Monique:“Johnny’s behavior in the classroom is very inappropriate and alarming to me. He sometimes rubs his penis over his clothing during class time. We tell him to stop, but he keeps doing it. It’s a real problem.”

Tara:“Why do you think Johnny does this?”

Monique:“I don’t know. It’s really weird and makes me uncomfortable.”

Monique’s response to Tara’s question is quite telling because you learn that Monique hasn’t thought much about why Johnny engages in this behavior. Also, Monique finds it to be “weird” and it makes her “uncomfortable.” Continue to read to learn how Tara supports Monique.

Tara:“Monique, thank you for coming to me with your concern. I also feel uncomfortable when I’m not sure why a student does something. It might be helpful to explore this a bit more, and we might need to do a little research. Where could we find out more information to help us understand Johnny’s behavior?”

Monique:“We could ask the school psychologist.”

Tara:“That’s one idea, but I know the school psychologist does not usually make recommendations unless they have done a formal evaluation. Does this behavior cause Johnny or other students harm, and does it affect Johnny’s ability to learn?”

Monique:“I don’t think so. He does it while in the classroom but it does not seem to impact his learning. Otherwise, he engages like a typical student.”

Tara:“I’m glad to hear that. Let’s think about a resource that is readily available to us. Where else could we look for help?”

Monique:“We could look on the internet.”

Tara:“That’s a good place to start, and we have courses on this topic available to us.“ Tara notices that Monique seems unsure of the suggestion of looking at the course. Tara says, “Have you had a chance to look at that course at all?”

Monique:“No. Isn’t that just for middle and high school teachers?”

Tara:“Actually, it’s for everyone who works with students K-12. There are a lot of elementary school examples and information.” Tara can tell this surprises Monique.

Tara:“The first two lessons of that course have some good ideas for situations like the one with Johnny. What do you think about taking a look at those lessons?

Monique:“OK.”

Tara:After you’ve reviewed that information, I’d be happy to come in your room and help you problem-solve while we observe together.

Monique:“Sounds good to me.”

In the conversation, Tara strategically supported Monique to develop a plan:

  • Completing Lesson One will allow Monique to reflect on her own discomfort with Johnny’s sexual behavior and learn that sexual development occurs throughout one’s life, beginning at birth.
  • Completing Lesson Two will inform Monique that Johnny’s behavior is normative and driven by curiosity and give her the steps to respond to this behavior.
  • Offering to observe in the room with Monique, after she has completed those lessons, provides Tara the opportunity to model best practice for responding to this behavior or provide positive feedback if Monique has already implemented what she learned.