Know

花点时间想想你小时候的家庭。你与主要照顾者、兄弟姐妹、姑姑、叔叔或祖父母的关系如何？想想你的家庭对你成长的巨大影响。相反，想想你对家庭成员的影响。例如，当你面对一个紧张的情况或重大的生活变化时，你的家庭成员是如何受到影响的？这些反思性的想法是一个人如何看待家庭动态的例子。

Because you work closely with your students, it’s natural to consider how your students are affected or shaped by their families. Remember that families are complex systems that frequently change depending on each family members’ interests, development, and stage of life. Caregivers, siblings, aunts, uncles, or grandparents can all be affected by a child or adolescent’s behaviors and experiences. Bowen’s family systems theory (1978) acknowledges the complexity of families and suggests that changes in any part of the family system have an impact on all other individuals in the family.

让我们考虑一个由一个8岁的孩子母亲，祖母和史蒂文组成的家庭。当他的母亲全职工作时，史蒂文一直受到他祖母的家庭教育。该家庭最近决定向当地公立学校送史蒂文。考虑该决策如何影响家庭动态。这个决定如何影响史蒂文？史蒂文的祖母？还是史蒂文的母亲？也许祖母将能够参加兴趣爱好或与朋友们参观，改善她的幸福。也许母亲将能够与祖母交谈各种兴趣和想法，而不是大多数关于史蒂文课程的对话。对这个家庭的一个元素的变化也可能对所有其他家庭成员产生重大影响。 Next, imagine that Steven begins exhibiting a sexual behavior challenge at his new school. How would this affect Steven’s mother or grandmother? Perhaps the mother or grandmother would need to attend more appointments or connect with community resources or agencies for support. The family would need to shift and adapt in order to meet the needs of the child.

融洽关系和家庭参与的重要性

As an educator, a majority of your work is spent with students. It can be difficult to find time to connect with primary caregivers or families; however, it is essential to develop rapport with families. Being friendly, asking questions, offering opportunities for engagement, and expressing interest are all ways that you can build strong relationships with families. Developing strong relationships with families creates a supportive environment. If a sexual behavior challenge were to arise in your classroom, you have already established a basic level of trust with the student's family.

Communicating with Families

In Lesson Five, you had the opportunity to walk through the case study of Crystal, an educator handling a sexual behavior challenge that occurred one day at recess. You learned how to respondin the momentand engage in the necessary follow-up proceduresafter the fact。既然你已经学会了如何在那一刻内学习如何管理儿童或青少年的直接需求，你可以通过这种体验来支持支持家庭。请记住，必须向您的管理员报告事件MILa specialistto take the lead on supporting families. However, this lesson will outline important considerations when communicating with families around any difficult or challenging issue.

Assess your own reactions and biases

In Lesson One, you learned the importance of reflecting on your own attitudes and assumptions you hold toward this highly sensitive topic. Acknowledging the biases or discomfort you may have around this topic is a way to prepare for communicating with families about their student’s sexual behavior.

从移情开始

同理心通常被描述为能够把自己放在别人的鞋子里，并考虑他们可能会发生的事情。对应对性行为挑战的学生和家庭的同理心很重要，可以改善理解，沟通和关系。对于父母或照顾者来说，关心一个表现出性行为挑战的孩子可以是强烈的压力。他们可能会努力知道如何回应或帮助他们的孩子。此外，护理人员可能会因其他人而觉得他们孩子的行为判断，或者其他人会将它们视为“坏”父母或照顾者，这为他们支持他们的孩子或青少年来增加一层额外的复杂性。支持其孩子或青少年性行为挑战的家庭可能会遇到以下任何一项（NCTSN，2009）：

Identify strengths

Prior to having a difficult conversation with a family, take a moment and consider the strengths of the student or the family. What makes them unique? What makes them strong or resilient? Take a strengths-based approach to empower the family and encourage yourself to identify and leverage the incredible strengths the families at your school have to offer.

Sharing Information with Families: Effective Communication

As you learned in Lesson Four, the language you use and the way you share information with families matters. When sexual behavior challenges occur, it’s likely that families will have questions about (1) what is considered normative or expected sexual behavior in children or adolescents as opposed to sexual behavior challenges and (2) the sexual behavior challenge you observed.

Supporting students through their challenging sexual behaviors is not an expected or anticipated experience for a family, and therefore families may not be familiar with the range of normative and challenging sexual behaviors, or even how to handle such a situation. It’s important to keep in mind that, based on their own experiences or culture, not all families will have the same perceptions or expectations regarding their child’s behavior. When speaking about the topic with families, try to create an environment where questions and discussion about sexual development are welcomed and encouraged.

每个学生都是独一无二的，每种情况都很复杂;有时候很难回答关于性发展和行为的问题。例如，您可能有家庭询问他们在家中观察到的性行为是“正常”。如果一个家庭成员询问有关您不确定的性发展问题，可以这么说。虽然承认您没有答案可能很困难，但重要的是不要做出假设或猜测。相反，让家人知道您将通过与管理员，辅导员或社会工作者进行咨询来了解更多信息。你可以说“我不确定，但我可以了解更多并询问学校顾问。我们其中一人会尽快跟进你。“这种行动可以帮助加强与家庭的关系。在与家庭讨论复杂主题时，可以随时可用的资源很有用。 You may find it helpful to refer to theNormative Childhood Sexual Development & Behaviorhandout in the Apply section of Lesson Two。

In addition to discussing the range of normative and challenging sexual behaviors, families may also have questions for you about the instances you observed. When discussing sexual behaviors with families, here are some important considerations:

Ineffective Communication: What to Avoid

While there are plenty of effective communication strategies that you can utilize with families, it’s also important to be aware of ineffective communication, or statements that may make a family feel uncomfortable or defensive. Below are some examples to avoid.

避免标签或诊断

When speaking with families about their child’s sexual behavior challenges, avoid making assumptions or generalizations. As you learned in Lesson Four, behavior is complex and one way that children and adolescents communicate messages. Because behaviors can be interpreted, we may speculate about what a student is attempting to communicate through their behavior. However, it’s important not to jump to conclusions by diagnosing or labeling a child or adolescent. Only specialists who, as part of their scope of practice, can diagnose or suggest diagnoses, should introduce discussion about specific diagnoses with families. For example, an educator can say,“您的孩子已在课堂上反复使用不安全触摸，”but should not make statements such as,“I think your child has a sexual behavior disorder.”If you are unsure of what you should say, refer to your professional guidelines and consult with your administrator.

Avoid judgment or criticism

Remember that sexual behavior challenges in children or adolescents can be a tremendous shock to the family. Think back to the wide range of ways that families may be experiencing or reacting to these behaviors and utilize empathy when working with families. If families feel judged or criticized, it’s possible they will shut down and withdraw from working cooperatively with school staff. For example, saying something like “If you were more involved with your daughter she wouldn’t be exhibiting these behaviors” can be offensive for families to hear and would likely make them feel attacked.

Don’t compare one child or adolescent to another

Avoid comparing the behaviors or actions of one student to another. For example, using a statement such as “none of the other students in my classroom have had issues like this” can hurt the feelings of the family you’re working with and damage the relationship you’ve developed with them.

Supporting Families through Their Child’s Sexual Behavior Challenges

根据性行为问题,您可能be working with a family whose child or adolescent exhibits the behavior or a family whose child or adolescent experienced the behavior. Think back to the case study from Lesson Five where you learned about Cameron and Makayla. The families of both Cameron, the child that exhibited the sexual behavior challenge, and Makayla, the child that experienced the sexual behavior, need support.

As you’ve already learned, one way that you can be immediately supportive of these families is to utilize your effective communication skills with them regarding the sexual behavior incidents. When a sexual behavior challenge occurs, your administrator will likely lead the process of referring families to community resources for support. However, it can be beneficial for you to familiarize yourself with some of the local supports for families as well.

See

作为专家谈谈与家庭周到沟通的重要性和偏见意识的重要性。听完后，想想你如何与家庭发起对话的对话，了解他们的孩子的性行为。

与家庭的支持性沟通

注意对性行为的反应

Do

As you’ve learned, discussing sexual behavior challenges with families can be difficult for all adults involved. So far, you’ve explored ways that you can use effective communication skills to support families in crisis. Now let’s turn your attention to school programs. It’s important to be familiar with program policies, procedures, and available community resources that can help to support families dealing with their child or adolescent’s sexual behavior challenges.

Take a few moments and consider the following questions regarding your program:

• Are school staff aware of local mental health or other community assistance programs or resources?
• Are school staff aware of when a family may benefit from speaking with someone on your team about local resources?
• 社区健康或心理健康资源是否在您的学校某处发布？这个信息在哪里？它是一个家庭可以轻易看到的地方吗？这些信息如何呈现？是否以学校家属的母语提供的信息？

While considering how information is displayed and whether it’s readily available for staff and families is important, building strong partnerships with local agencies can also be beneficial. By connecting with local health and mental health resources, school administrators can create a seamless transition into services. Some examples include: getting to know the point person for scheduling intake appointments for families, allowing families to have their first meeting with a counselor at your site, inviting staff from local agencies in to lead discussion groups, or speaking with parents to reduce stigma around mental health issues. These strategies increase the likelihood that families’ will approach you for support, and they also make resources more easily available to families.

考虑您的学校如何与社区机构和资源建立更强大的联系，或者您的学校如何减少精神卫生服务周围的耻辱，以更好地支持与孩子或青少年的性行为挑战的家庭。