Know

Safe, Unsafe, and Unwanted Touch

Read the definitions and examples for safe, unsafe, and unwanted touch.

Though the lines for safe versus unsafe touch may seem very clear, when touch is wanted or unwanted can be much more difficult to determine. What is considered unwanted touch may change for each individual child depending on the circumstance and the other person involved.

Permission to Touch

Has someone, who intended no harm, ever touched you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable? Maybe it was a casual acquaintance who unexpectedly hugged you or someone who tapped you on your shoulder to get your attention. While these actions are not meant to make you uncomfortable, everyone has different levels of comfort with touching. When you ask permission to touch someone, you communicate that you are considering what the other person feels and areresponsiveto their preferences. Permission to touch can prevent all kinds of unwanted touch, including those that are sexual behavior challenges.

Reading and Responding to Cues

First, you should know that children cannot legally consent to sexual behavior, even if they willingly participate in an interaction. Though they cannot legally consent, all children can communicate through cues. A cue is an expression, action, or words that tell you what a person is thinking or feeling. Responding to children’s cues lets them know that their thoughts and feelings matter. For example, crying is a cue that infants use to let caregivers know they need something. As children grow from infants to toddlers and expand the ways in which they communicate, children need to learn to read and respond to others’ cues, including peers. Read the scenarios below and reflect on how the children in the examples used cues to communicate their preferences on touch.

上述所有方案都是当儿童不要求触摸或不响应其他人的提示时会发生什么例子。请注意，这些示例中的护理人员如何使用这些机会教导儿童触摸而无权影响别人的感受。教导所有儿童首先要求触摸的许可帮助他们学习边界，可以防止许多性行为挑战。例如，如果奥利维亚（学龄前儿童）没有学会在玩医生时询问允亚慱彩票许触摸的许可，她将如何知道在浴室里触摸另一个孩子的私人部位是不行的？

Culturally and Developmentally Appropriate Modeling

While your program should have clear rules and expectations on touch, children’s family and cultural norms on touch are diverse. For example, in some cultures it is customary to kiss others on the cheek when greeting friends, family, and acquaintances. In other cultures touching another person’s head, even a child’s, is inappropriate. Although you are primarily learning about permission to touch to prevent sexual behavior challenges in children and youth, it is also important that you are aware of your own behaviors. For example, many caregivers may not think twice about affectionately giving a child a gentle pat on the head. But if you did that to a child who comes from a family that considers this disrespectful, what effect might that have?

Some children, such as Desi and Evan (the toddlers in the above example), are not yet developmentally able to ask and give permission. It is particularly important that you read and interpret the cues of children who have emerging expressive communication and those with speech, language, and social delays. Desi’s caregiver will need to model asking permission to touch so that Desi will have the opportunity to develop this skill. Her caregiver can do this each morning when Desi arrives and before she leaves in the afternoon. The caregiver can ask Desi, “Can I give you a hug?” Desi may happily give a big hug each time. Modeling this behavior will support Desi and other children in learning to ask permission to touch.

阅读下面的示例，并注意看护人如何建模如何触摸触摸的发展恰当。

Public versus Private

Though the meaning of public and private may be difficult for some children to understand, you should teach what these words mean in developmentally appropriate ways. Read the examples to learn ways caregivers can support children in learning about this important concept.

Now read how staff who work with preschoolers can teach children about public versus private. Notice how this caregiver incorporates this concept into a familiar routine.

While most school-age children generally understand the terms private and public, they may need help with appropriate conversation in public versus private settings. A school-age staff member has noticed that several children will announce private activities, attempting to be funny. She has heard children yell out statements such as, “I need to take a dump.” Read how this staff member supports school-age children’s understanding of private versus public.

Active Supervision

学习环境yabo电子游艺是公共空间，不应该有任何领域，工作人员不能提供积极监督。当“员工定位自己使他们可以观察所有的孩子时，发生了积极的监督：观看，计数和在所有时代倾听”（童年健康和健康的国家中心）。

Sometimes, through children’s activities and ideas, the environment changes in ways that prevents staff from providing active supervision. Read this example which shows how a teacher ensured that she could actively supervise children while still encouraging them to engage in their original idea.

You might need to increase how closely you provide active supervision for children who exhibit sexual behaviors, even if they are normative. For example, some of the school-age children in an after-school program find it humorous to sneak up behind each other and slap peers’ backsides. Staff can prevent this behavior from happening by providing closer active supervision where the behavior tends to occur, in the gym for example. For this example, the children and youth may need an additional staff member to provide active supervision when in the gym in addition to a reminder cue:

积极的监督，特别是当您在活动和对话期间常常与儿童接触时，可以防止程序中儿童的高级性知识传播。例如，教学团队使用积极的监督来支持Enrique：

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Children and youth need intentional support to learn and follow rules that place them on a path of healthy sexual development. They also need physical environments that promote rule-following and allow program staff to actively supervise. Prevention is the best approach, and here you will hear experts discuss strategies that prevent sexual behavior challenges.

Prevention Strategies

Using Active Supervision to Prevent Sexual Behavior Challenges

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Asking, Accepting, and Declining Permission

You will need to teach children and youth how to ask, accept, and decline permission to touch. Encourage children to be respectful, but firm. Remember that communication is more than words. It may be helpful for children with emerging language to learn to recognize gestures as well. Review the suggestions below and think about how you can use these ideas when working with children and youth.

Model and teach young children a gesture for “stop.” Extending your arm and hand (palm facing other person) is a universal and often intuitive gesture. You can model this for children when you observe a child initiate unwanted touch. For example, toddler Kori puts her hands on Jack’s face. Based on Jack’s facial expression, caregiver Simon recognizes that this is unwanted touch. Simon models the “stop” gesture to communicate to Kori, explaining that Jack says, “No thank you.”

• 帮助儿童通过使用反思问题和叙述学会阅读提示。“当有人拉开你时，你认为这意味着什么？”或“他有一个悲伤的脸。”
• Have children practice asking for, accepting, and declining various forms of safe touch (e.g., high fives, holding hands). “Can I have a high five?” “Sure!” “No, thank you.” “Not right now.”
• Teach children that they are “the boss” or “in charge” of their bodies and that they decide (except when a grown-up must help them and has explained why they must help them) when they participate in safe touch and when they don’t.
• Help children understand that you can decline a safe touch and still be that person’s friend.
• 教导短语和概念，如“你在我的泡沫中”，所以孩子们何时无意中侵入个人空间或从事不需要的触摸。
• Use specific, positive feedback when you observe children asking, accepting, and declining permission to touch. “Liam, thank you for asking to give Isabel a hug.”
• 尊重儿童和青少年的决定下降（可选）安全触控。当他们衰落时避免乞讨或戏弄孩子。如果一个孩子拒绝给他们的父母在下车时吻，从成年人乞讨可能听起来像是，“哦，来吧，爸爸真的想要一个吻。在我离开之前，请给我一个吻。“护理人员可以通过宣传孩子的意图来支持孩子和父母，“我相信他会很高兴能见到你。也许你可以要求给他一个吻吗？“